There Once Was a Man From Nantucket...

Since I don't have a dirty mind, I'm posting what I think is the ACTUAL version of the limerick:

Who kept all his cash in a bucket.

But his daughter, named Nan,

Ran away with a man

And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

i'm a dork and totally just Wikipedia'd this, but here is the first prize winning followup to that verse:

But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,

The man and the girl with the bucket;

And he said to the man,

He was welcome to Nan,

But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.

I don't know the dirty end to that one and I don't think I want to know. However, I do know a PG-13 one!
A nudist by the name of Roger Peet
Loved to dance in the snow and the sleet,
But one chilly December
He froze every member,
And retired to a monkish retreat.

I am going to try and write a limerick now...

There was a cat named Sally
Who lived in a stank ol' alley,
She ate lots of fish
Always out of a dish
Come to think of it, quite classy.

Did I get it right?

There once was a man from Nantucket
With no hands for his soup, he would suck it...
It would drip down his chin,
As nasty as sin,
And if the soup was foul he'd... up-chuck-it.  (ouch!)

:   ]

HA! The best part about G1no's limerick is that it looks like it's going to get dirty and then doesn't. Now I feel compelled to write another... Not that my last effort was so stellar. Nice thread Beastly, but you need to add an original now too.

There once was a man
From Nantucket who had time
To write a haiku

There once was a man from Nantucket,whose head was as big as a bucket.
This genius named Yoda
who spoke with like a Coda,
when asked of his smarts, says "is luck, It"

ok...so I had to take some creative liberties with Yoda's backwards speech...but hey! I'm gonna go ahead and give myself props for the musical reference!

There Once Was a Man From Nantucket
Who jumped off a cliff and said fuck it
He fell through the earth
For whatever that’s worth
Saw my hairy eyebrow and said pluck it

there once was a man from nantucket
when after the bo sox won said fuck it
a bunch of yankees stormed the town
carrying bats, beers and a heavy frown
they said bosox were a 1 hit wonder
didn't matter ruth came from beantown and brought the thunder
made sure the beaners knew
only the yankees are true

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who took a pig in a thicket to fuck it
The pig said: "you queer
Get away from my rear
Just come around front and I'll suck it."

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who's ass really stank when you'd fuck it
It could have been shit
Yes I think that was it
For the cause of the stench, poor Nantucket

(wash yo' ass....damn)

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who's ass really stank when you'd fuck it
It could have been shit
Yes I think that was it
For the cause of the stench, poor Nantucket

(wash yo' ass....damn)

There once was a man from nantucket,
who kept all his teeth in jar.
in the cupboard he stuck it,
by his good-dream filled bucket
'til wearin' them out to the bar.